When meeting with a potential client, I first ask whether there is any possibility of reconciliation with his or her spouse. It is unfortunate when some choose divorce before considering other options to resolve their marital difficulties. Too often few realize or comprehend the impact of a divorce upon their children, their extended family, friends and themselves.
So, before I initiate a suit on behalf of a client, we discuss alternatives to resolving their issues other than the legal system. I recommend books to read and counselors/therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists/ministers/rabbis etc to consult who have the professional training to identify the “real source” of their unhappiness in their marriage.
Marriage is not easy. My 20th wedding anniversary is on the 29th of this month, and my husband and I acknowledge that marriage takes a whole lot of work and lots of forgiveness. But, even though there are always times in any marriage where one partner hurts or disappoints the other, it is possible to overcome these hurdles if both spouses put their relationship ahead of these momentary low points. Further, forgiving, respecting and cherishing the other are all part of the formula for a healthy marriage. Of course, this is sometimes easier said than done, and I certainly cannot hold myself out as one who follows the formula often enough. I have a long way to go toward remembering those ingredients on a daily, much less monthly basis.
I do know, though, that divorces can devastate families, emotionally and financially. They can also devastate unintended victims especially the children, friends, extended family, co-workers and others who all too frequently are reluctantly, pulled into the fray. It is also incredibly sad to hear someone say with huge regret, “If I had only known in my first marriage what I know now, I would have given my all to work out our problems and remain married to my first spouse.”
Some may wonder why am I a divorce attorney? Sometimes, I ask myself the same question. Over the years the answer is the affirmation and thanks from incredible people who find themselves in difficult, painful divorce situations from which there is no turning back, who tell my team and me that we helped them through the process. I think most family law practitioners feel similarly, and they agree we truly want to help our clients through a very difficult and emotional time in their lives. Practicing family law has its challenges, and it is discouraging at times to work in an environment where there is so much heart ache. But, when we help people through this process who appreciate our efforts, it is worth the “thick skin” I and others have “grown” over the years.
Before choosing to seek a divorce, please try to resolve your marital difficulties through other means and know reconciliation is always an option. My hope, my goal, my wish and my prayer for all potential clients are to educate them about the process so they make fully-informed, wise, educated decisions before resorting to the legal system. But, in those situations where reconciliation is not possible, strive to reach a fair, equitable resolution through a less contentious process, such as mediation, to avoid inflicting unnecessary pain upon your children, your spouse and yourself.
Posted in 
Yesterday, Saturday, December 4, 2010, The New York Times published an article about Balance Point, an investment firm in Beverly Hills that helps fund legal fees and costs in divorce cases. The cases the company invests in must have assets between $2M and $15M. For those parties with assets in this range but no access to the marital estate or other means to pay their litigation costs, this company provides the funds and receives payment once the case is resolved based upon a percentage of the party’s ultimate receipt of assets.
In South Carolina and most other states, it is unethical for divorce attorneys to request payment from their clients in the form of a percentage of the ultimate receipt of the marital estate. This form of payment is quite common in personal injury cases, but it is repugnant in family court cases except those which involve only the issue of collecting an alimony or child support arrearage. However, a company whose investment is an arms length transaction and the company has no influence upon the the party’s ultimate settlement, it is permissible and in this author’s opinion, not at all repugnant.
Stacey Napp, the owner of Balance Point, founded the company following her own difficult divorce experience. Her company’s business model is novel because it only invests in divorce cases. I would not be surprised to see it take off. Equalizing the playing field so both parties have equal access to experts, experienced attorneys and other litigation costs removes the stress of worrying about how to pay for these necessary players or settling for less than one deserves simply because the party feels they cannot afford to fight for what is rightfully theirs.
According to The New York Times, Madeline Marzano-Lesnevich, an officer in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, welcomes the concept of businesses providing divorce funding to parties who might not otherwise have access to funds until the case was over. I welcome the concept as well and hope Ms. Napp’s idea takes off so those in needs of funds have access to them, including those whose assets are much less than the cases in which Ms. Napp invests her monies. Read more here: http://tinyurl.com/253bx4q
Bought awesome tool in Airport Wireless store by Solid Line. It is a bluetooth, wireless keyboard in a leather (pleather?) carrying case for the iPad. Keys are soft to protect screen when case is closed, and keyboard easy to use! Love my new toy, and on/off button saves me from the embarrassing moments my Apple wireless keyboard automatically turned on AC/DC or Lynyrd Skynayd at the wrong times! Buy it at http://tinyurl.com/2e95vza
Sean Keefer, a SC family law attorney, mediator, musician and now “tech guru” just developed the application for I-Phones and I-Pads that calculates child support according to the SC Child Support Guidelines. The program makes it so easy to do a full calculation from your I-Phone at any time. If you want to download the program, search for the term “scchild”. While Sean has a free option, download the professional program for $9.99 because it is definitely worth the cost and will calculate cs for families with up to 6 children. (The free program limits the calculation to parties with only one child.)
Many news agencies have incorrectly reported that Governor and Mrs. Sanford’s divorce becomes final this month, February 2010. While their final divorce hearing is scheduled for February 26, 2010, the Family Court judge cannot sign their Decree of Divorce until three months have passed since their filing date, December 11, 2009.
