For Parties Going Through a Divorce

This list contains books for men and women who find themselves going through a divorce; how to survive the divorce process; and to how to move forward after the divorce when they become single.  There are also books appropriate for children of different ages.  Some books are ones that parents should read to younger children that help explain the divorce process in simple, understandable terms that young children can grasp. Other books are recommendations for older children and teens to read.  Finally, there are a few recommendations about parenting books that are useful to parents embroiled in custody battles or parents who want to improve their skills as a single parent.  This list is not comprehensive so we are always open to new book recommendations and reviews to add to this site.

Marriage and Divorce Law in South Carolina: A Layperson’s Guide. Roy T. Stuckey

This is a great overview of South Carolina Family Law for lay people.  (If you come in for the comprehensive initial consultation, we give you a copy of this book.)

Crazy Time:  Surviving Divorce & Building a New Life. Abigail Trafford

This is a classic–recognized for more than 16 years as the essential guidebook for getting through divorce.  Trafford is compassionate, funny, articulate andever so savvy about the “crud” people go through when divorce. (If you come in for the comprehensive initial consultation, we give you a copy of this book.)

When the Vow Breaks: A Survival and Recovery Guide for Christians Facing Divorce. Joseph Warren Kniskern

Written by a male, Christian real estate attorney, this powerful book helps Christians as when they reluctantly find themselves divorcing and how to handle the impact upon their faith, find the ability to forgive their spouse and to move forward with their lives.

Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy. Frank Pittman

This is a powerful book where infidelity is an element of the divorce.  Frank Pittman describes the many, many reasons people may cheat on their spouse.  Reading this book does not excuse the behavior, but often helps parties understand how this situation came about and why the cheating may be a symptom of problems in the marriage and not the cause for divorce. (If you come in for the comprehensive initial consultation and adultery is an issue in your case, we give you a copy of this book.)

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it andhow to respond. Patricia Evans

This excellent books helps people who put up with verbal abuse and fail to understand how it negatively impacts the marriage and why they may have accepted such behavior and how they can break free. (If you come in for the comprehensive initial consultation and verbal abuse is an issue in your case, we give you a copy of this book.)

The Good Divorce. Constance R. Ahrons

Considered a landmark longitudinal study of post divorce families, this book continues to provide insight into the lasting effects of divorce. Some was criticize it for “promoting divorce”; however, the goal is really to demonstrate that a good divorce may be better for the family than a bad marriage.

Surviving Separation and Divorce:  How to Keep Going When You Really Don’t Want To. Sharon Marshall

Geared toward women who grieve over the shock of separation and/or divorce.  This book provides practical guidance and hope beyond the divorce.

You Gotta Keep Dancin’:  In the Midst of Life’s Hurts You Can Choose Joy! Tim Hansel

Hansel’s biography gives a poignant account on his life and how he has managed to find joy in the midst of unbearable and constant physical pain through his faith in God.

How to Avoid the Divorce from Hell and Dance together at Your Daughter’s Wedding. M. Sue Talla

Sue Tallais a successful divorce lawyer in domestic relations in California for the past 20+ years.  The book is intelligent, compassionate, thoughtful and above all, readable.

What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody:  Judges, Lawyers, and Therapists Share Winning Strategies on How to Keep the Kids, the Cash, and Your Sanity. Gayle Rosenwald Smith, J.D., and Sally Abrahms

This is an extraordinarily sensible, sensitive, and pragmatic book.  I seems useful for both men and women.

Cutting Loose:  Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well. Ashton Applewhite

This is a book for women who live with abusive men.

Mom’s House, Dad’s House:  A Complete Guide for Parents Who are Separated, Divorced, or Living Apart. Isolina Ricci

Mom’s House, Dad’s House is a classic that may not have started the concept of joint custody and shared parenting but put it on the map.

BOOKS FOR CHILDREN- DIVORCE

Young Children

Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce. Cornelia Maude Spelman

This book is for younger ages.  It would be a good resource for parents to read aloud to children. It talks about how to handle two home situations. The main character is portrayed as a strong young girl so it provides encouragement for young children who are currently involved in a divorce.

Dinosaurs Divorce. Laurene Krasny and Mark Brown

Great to reach children ages 4-9. This book can also be used as a guide for the entire family. It explains times that children may struggle during the divorce. It is colorful andattractive for young children. One of the best aspects of the book is the way it targets children’s emotions. It explains that it is ok to cry and even ok to be angry.

Two Homes. Claire Masurel

This book has amazing illustrations and a good explanation to young children. This book would be most appropriate for very young children or beginning readers. It describes how the little boy, Alex, has two of everything, one at mommy’s and one at daddy’s. This is great because in the end it states that both parents love him regardless of whose time it is with him.

Arthur and the 1,001 Dads.Marc Tolon Brown

A great book for young children! We see the familiar Arthur character and his friend who does not have a relationship with his father. They all are going to attend a Father’s Day Picnic, but they need a substitute father for Arthur’s friend. It is good at illustrating to children how to be a friend of someone whose parents may be divorced and that fathers can come in many packages.

Help Me Understand:  A Child’s Book About Divorce. Amy Ross Munford

A Christian book written for the young child experiencing divorce.

Children Ages 7-12

Ginny Morris and Mom’s House, Dad’s House. Mary Collins Gallager

This book is appropriate for ages 8-12. It is about a little girl who has two homes and two of everything. She battles practical problems related to her parent’s divorce, like her dad not showing up on Sundays andher Mom being mad. When you read the book you are able to visualize the situations and understandthe child’s perspective. This book is suitable for children who are able to read andare at an independent reading level because it is a short chapter book.

Amber Brown Goes Forth. Paula Danzinger

This book is from a series of books that are about Amber Brown. This series is designed for girls in 2nd-4th grade. Amber is faced with many divorce-related issues, like sharing holidays etc. This book is appropriate for older readers that can read independently. Overall it provides real situations that Amber faces being a nine year old girl who is constantly having to experience changes emotionally and physically.

The Day My Mother Left.James Prosek

This book is about a nine year old boy who is dealing with the emotional pain of his parents’ divorce. His mother leaves to live with another man and his father is depressed. He feels like he is in the middle of his parents’ disputes and is trying to survive the battle. This story is very real – although emotional – and really shows how children can blame themselves for a divorce. In the end, the child finds a way to stay strong for himself and his family.

Kaline Kattermaster’s Tree House.Haven Kimmel

This bookis suitable for ages 7-12. The book is about a young boy named Kaline whose parents are experiencing a rough divorce. His father has disappeared andhis mother is struggling to keep things under control. He has 100 dogs in his imaginary tree house that help keep him happy. He is learning to cope with the struggles of being an outcast at school and his home life being so difficult.

Help! A Girl’s Absolutely Indispensable Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies. Nancy Holyoke

This book is intended for grades 4th through 8th. This book provides advice directly from girls who have experienced divorce. The main purpose of the book is to explain that it is not the child’s fault. In the end the book has quizzes and cartoons to engage the child.

It’s Not the End of the World. Judy Blume

Twelve-year-old Karen’s parents are about to be divorced, and she feels she must get them back together again, but learns that they may be better apart.

Don’t Make Me Smile. Barbara Park

A junior high school age boy’s parents plan to get a divorce, and he makes efforts to bring them back together.  Beautifully expresses the wide range of feelings the child experiencing divorce may feel.

Taking Sides. Norma Klein

Twelve-year-old Nell adjusts to life with her father and five-year-old brother andweekends withher mom after her parents’ divorce.  When her father becomes seriously ill, Nell must deal with new fears, new problems, andliving with her mom and friend.

My Parents are Divorced, Too: A Book for Kids by Kids. Jan Blackstone-Ford

This book is written by three children who are related through their parent’s marriages and remarriages. They have successfully completed the blending of a family and discuss how to deal with “new” siblings and family situations. It explains the effects of a divorce from a child’s perspective and provides a realistic approach to a serious situation.

Don’t Fall Apart on Saturday’s: The Children’s Divorce-Survival Book. Norma Klein

This book is a guide for parents andchildren together. This book explains how to manage anddeal with the many changes brought about by divorce. It is easy to read andeasy to understand. This booktries to help children understand the situation and eliminate any guilt they may feel over their parents’ divorce and timesharing.

What Makes Me Feel This Way? Eda LeShan

Helps children to identify and explore their feelings.

Things Won’t Be the Same. Kathryn Ewing

Marcy’s mom remarries and Marcy must learn to accept a new house, a new school, and a new father.  Marcy questions whether it might be better to live with her own father, her young stepmother, and their son Joey.

Teenagers

Gateway. Lee Robinson

My former boss and mentor who taught me Family Law wrote this gritty, thought-provoking and highly entertaining book.  It is set in Charleston, and while it is geared toward teenagers, adults love it as well.

How it Feels When Parents Divorce. Jill Krementz

Poignant and honest pictures and stories of children of divorce, ages 7-17, told in their own words.

Healing the Hurt, Help for Teenagers Whose Parents Are Divorced.Mildred Tickfer

An excellent Christian book for teens struggling with divorce.

Divorce is Not the End of the World:  Zoe’s and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids. Zoe and Evan Stern.

Great for ‘preen to teenagers.’  Its written by two kids about their feelings and reactions during the divorce, in a helpful manner that kids can relate to.  Parents should read it too.

Dear Mr. Henshaw.Beverly Cleary

This book is a compelling novel that is suitable for older ages. It is a chapter book that follows a young boy’s feelings about his parents divorce. The story is told as the boy writes to his favorite author about his emotions. He explains what it is like to be going to a new school and having to start over. He struggles at finding a new place in the world. The connection with the author allows the boy to regain his respect for his family and himself.

After The Divorce

After Your Divorce: Creating the Good Life on Your Own. Cynthia Macgregor and Robert E. Alberti

This book is good for starting over. This book will teach you ways to begin a new life individually without feeling alone. It provides practical advice for many new “single” situations.

Calling it Quits: Late Life Divorce and Starting Over. Deirdre Blair

This book is a collection of stories of husbands and wives who chose to end long marriages. It also includes stories of adult children of late life divorces and how they were affected.

Hope for the Separated. Gary D. Chapman

This book teaches that life does not end after divorce. It reassures the reader that there is hope, to heal a broken relationship.

When He Leaves: Choosing to Live, Love, and Laugh Again. Kari West and Noelle Quinn

This book is for women who are in a situation where they feel that they “may never love again”. This book helps women to understand the changes of a Christian marriage. This book provides encouragement and inspiration.

PARENTING BOOKS- DIVORCE

Ex-Etiquette for Parents. Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe

This is written by someone who has lived it! Blackstone-Ford is a divorce and stepfamilymediator who married Jupe’s first husband. They tackle all kinds of topics including transitions between houses, public event behavior, changing your vocabulary to be more positive and introducing a new partner to your ex andthe children. A booklike this was long overdue. The authors really encourage people to take positive risks with their behavior to be a model for their children. They also write a column in Charleston’s Post and Courier newspaper.

Divorce and New Beginnings: A Complete Guide to Solo Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Stepfamilies. Genevieve Clapp

This book is specifically designed to teach you how to overcome the challenging parenting aspects of a divorce. This book is also great for moving away from the focus of the divorce and getting on with your life.

Making Up the Differences:  Help for Single Parents with Teenagers. George Alan Rekers & Jordan J. Swihart

A Christian-based book that pinpoints teenager’s specific needs, and the struggles of being a single parent of a teenager.  Addresses root causes of difficulties and offers clear Christian-centered advice to strengthen parent-child relationships.

Divorced Kids:  What You Need to Know to Help Kinds Survive a Divorce. Laurene Johnson & George Rosenfel

Very readable book which successfully addresses many areas of parenting specific to divorce and provides an excellent way of practical solutions to everyday problems as well as long-term struggles.

Surviving the Break-Up:  How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce. Judith S. Wallerstein & Joan Berlin Kelly

The “classic” book on divorce, documents the first major scientific study of the immediate and long range effects of divorce (to five years post divorce).

Second Chances:  Men, Women and Children a Decade After Divorce. Judith S. Wallerstein & Joan Kelly

Based on Dr. Wallerstein’s 10 year study of 60 middle class families experiencing divorce and is a novelistic account of the family’s struggles.

Annie Stories. Doris Brett

Stories designed to calm the fears of children experiencing an array of childhood experiences, from nightmares, starting school, birth of siblings, to coping with divorce or the death of a loved one.  Dr. Brett shows parents how to adapt each story to the specific needs of their own children.

My Single Mom Life. Angela Thomas

A very practical book for single moms. This book gives sound spiritually based advice for dealing with situations from dating to discipline and everything in between. It is an easy read that will leave you laughing.

Your Divorce Advisor. Diana Mercer

Acknowledgements

We would like to thank the Little, Gilman-Tepper & Batley law firm of Albuquerque, New Mexico and Rob Robertson, Esq, of Austin, Texas for contributing their valuable insight into creating this list.